The clarification of adulthood for my 18 year old son

To start my first post, I will tell you that I’m proudly a single mom to three often hormonal teenage boys… To say my house is a circus is an understatement. Most days its more like living in the constantly smelly UFC octagon than a normal household lol. I guess you could say being the only girl in the house means I have to be a little crazy myself to smile at the madness. I always said Id rather be my kinda crazy then anyone elses idea of normal:) And that life motto is good to have because my household is far from normal any day of the week. My entire world rotates around those 3 loves of my life. Still…no one ever told me what raising teenage boys alone would entail. Boy was I so unprepared for puberty!! That’s YEARS of each of them acting like the are literally bipolar at times and it was like they scheduled taking shifts on my nerves. And it is still ongoing with a bonus that no one warned me of either. THE 18th Birthday “I’m an adult now” proclamation. To give you the basic rundown my oldest will  be a sophomore in college this Fall, my middle son will be a sophomore in high school, and my baby is going into 8th grade this year. That’s currently ages 19, 16, and 14…and to answer the immediate questions that come to your mind, NO there is never any food in the house (I seriously have to hide snacks I buy myself lol) and the employees at the 2 closest grocery stores know me on a first name basis and have said they want to file a missing persons report if I am not back shopping for more food within 48 hrs of the last trip (normally its 24hrs lol). The amount of food they good through is absolutely mind-boggling. At this point, I’m seriously just working for food lol. In addition to having an empty pantry constantly, my oldest son is home from his 1st year of college….and so is all his stuff. Which basically means half of my modestly sized home now looks like a frat house dumped all their crap everywhere! That was soooooo not how my “adult” son had planned it when he emptied his room and gave it to his brother. “I don’t need a room here anymore mom, I will only come for visits now.” Ummmm ok I thought, holding back tears.

Which leads me to my very first entertaining mom lesson of this blog. Once again, after high school (by his mindset), he was now 18 and knew EVERYTHING about life and being an “adult”, he was quick to inform me he was gonna go ahead and move every single thing he owned out of my house. Some went to his dorm and the rest to storage when he left for college. He didn’t leave one single memory or stitch of himself in that room… Heartbroken would be an understatement the day I walked into his room completely empty…all the trophies, home run balls, pictures, old jerseys that covered the walls in pride….he took it all. He clearly explained he would “visit” but he wouldn’t be moving home or needing his room anymore. He talked of big plans of course including NOT coming home this summer and instead getting an off campus apartment with his friends. And here it was,  the insanely incredible moment I got the EXTREME pleasure of clarifying to him what his newly proclaimed “adulthood” meant. He was quickly reminded momma didn’t pay expenses in the Summer. Momma paid $30,000 for Fall & Spring! If he made the “adult” decision to not come home and save money over the Summer then those bills were on him not me. I told him being 18  doesn’t make you an adult…it means you can vote and go to jail…THATS IT! Until you pay for your bills yourself like the groceries I bring up every other weekend, the monthly bill I get from the college for the additional senseless bullshit you continuously charge (like the $12 a pop protein shakes you just have to have after workouts you proclaimed) after I’ve paid off all the required tuition, fees, books, parking, sporting event tickets, gym dues…and on and on…the list is $30, 000 long…then let me be very clear my son, you are NOT an adult! I work 90hr weeks to keep our family just slightly above water yet I wont even think of treating myself to Starbucks because I need to save that money for one expense or another…I haven’t even had my hair cut at a salon in 2 years because theirs costs $20 a piece every two weeks on top of everything else I have to pay routinely. That child had the audacity to look at me in total shock…like wth mom? why? HE WAS OUTTA HIS DAMN MIND IF HE THOUGHT MOMMA WAS GONNA FUND HIS “ADULT” LIVING ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE SUMMER!!! In that moment, he needed  a “come to Jesus” talk and he believe me, he got it lol.

So here we are…ITS SUMMER!! Go ahead and start grinning because obviously you can piece together from my introductory statement that he didn’t have adult life as figured out as he much as he thought lol. And its funny how he stuck to his guns all year maintaining they were still getting that apartment and he even got a part-time job to start saving. I was proud of him and I never questioned him about the summer again. The last week of school came and I knew Id have to go move him out of the dorm but I didn’t ask where I was moving him to. Come to find out, saving money wasnt an adult skill he had acquired at 18 as he stated before lol. I gotta say I had a pretty huge “Adult my ass! ” smirk on my face the entire day as I drove back with him that day…especially when we got home and he remembered he no longer had a room of his own lol. Unfortunately, his stuff now covers half my house in different rooms AND his available bed for the summer is the futon in his little brothers room lol I won’t lie, I’m happy to have him home exactly as I wanted but you know, I gotta admit …sometimes teaching your kids those important life lessons is pretty entertaining to watch. They are like small rewards sent down by God to knock them down a few notches and put them in check…and of course, to give you that “I told you so moment” you kept saying in your head with a smile lol. I told him that he had the rest of his life to be an “adult” and know that it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Be a kid and enjoy life as long as you can…growing up is for the birds!!! HE AGREED!! Consider adulthood clarified lol #mommaalwaysknowsbest

 

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